Posted by alesta on November 7, 2005, at 9:25:43
sorry to anyone i haven't replied to yet...i will get back when i have the energy/time i promise. life just keeps throwing punches lately...i have a bf that i keep trying to unsuccessfully break up with that is making me insane..nobody believes me when i say how he is..jeckyl and hyde man..even his email is has dr jeckl in it!!! oh my god sometimes i think i am going to lose it..i try to block him out and what he says sometimes...it is really hard though. how do i break up with him? it is so hard for me for some reason. maybe cause i live in same building with him. man, i just need someone to believe me.
btw, i am going to stop trying to get involved with guys that seem perfect/too good to be true. they are almost always the abuser type. i have such a knack for getting involved with them lately. i made much wiser choices in men in my teens and twenties. funny how that works. god, i just need someone to believe me and support me and tell me this situation is going to work out. i know i need to break up...i need to get out of this shelter first though..breaking up is just too much stress on top of everything else. i just want to cry and just get all this out. it is sooo hard for me right now.
thank you for listening. sometimes i feel like i might go crazy after dealing with him...please..just someone believe me.
and i spend tons of time listening to others problems and helping them, and then when i tell them mine they don't even believe me, or they don't understand or try to understand. someone asked me if i was okay yesterday..i asked him why and he said that i just seemed "out of it". i didn't realize i seemed that way...i am not sure what it is an indicator of. depression? a response to stress? anyone have an idea?
thanks for reading and any help..even if i can't really respond right away....i apologize...
love,
amyp.s. there's other stuff bothering me, too..like when i boost certain ppl up and help them out of their depression or whatever and then they run with that and try to put me down in subtle ways...ppl are just plain mean sometimes. this girl thinks i am her friend but i really can't stand her $ss....sorry for that bad attitude right there. ppl can be so stressful...i am trying to block them out, and it really kinda helps restore my peacefulness. thanks for at least reading this y'all. that alone is a help. but the boyfriend issue is my biggest problem (although everything can be overwhelming)...it is stressing me to no end..i can't express the effect he has on me mentally...i try not to lose my mind around him. god help me.
poster:alesta
thread:576320
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051029/msgs/576320.html