Posted by mellymel_d on September 13, 2005, at 15:02:50
In reply to Re: Anxiety, posted by lynn970 on September 12, 2005, at 20:39:45
wow- Lynn!!! People ask me the same things about my mom. She was never physically abusive, but very so much emotional. My dad was the physical one. With my mom- I just was never good enough and I'm still not. However like you, I feel the same, I know her good side. Nobody knows her like me. It doesn't make it acceptable for the way she treats me but I know she'll never change. I just have to learn to live with it...
> Most people that know me and my situation dont understand how I still talk to my mom. I know that she has a good side. She tells me she is sorry all the time for the way she raised me. Now she is on prozac, I can tolerate her better. I do forgive her. My sister who was the perfect queen, did not get the brunt of it. She tells me that I shouldnt blame my problems on my childhood. She did not experience what I experienced. Names like retarded, b#tch, and all kinds of bad names were used to refer to me by my mom. The name calling hurt more than the beatings. The beatings were b/c I had a bad report card. By the way, I went on to college and maintained dean's list status every semester except the ones in my freshmen year.
>
> Part of me tells me that that was not abuse. Was it? Is this why I have trouble making decisions? Is this why I have a problem with anxiety? I know that I am ranting. Any thoughts on the matter would be helpful.
>
> Oh, and I dont know why my mom said that when I grow up, I would be the biggest B#tch in town. The only man I have known intimitaly is my husband. I did not sleep around. Go figure?
> Lots of love,
> Lynn
poster:mellymel_d
thread:554355
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050909/msgs/554706.html