Posted by JenStar on May 31, 2005, at 18:16:22
In reply to Re: Deneb, I replied to you over on Social..:-), posted by Deneb on May 31, 2005, at 16:43:16
Deneb,
I personally like you, I DON'T think you're "crazy," and I'm 100% sure that nobody here wants you to die. Dr. Bob IS benevolent - it would be difficult and inappropriate for him to get personally involved with the posters here, but I'm sure he's a good guy. Think about it - would a mean person start a site like this in his own free time and maintain it as well?Deneb, you sometimes demonstrate a level of paranoia that I consider abnormally high. (But I still like you! I DON'T want you to die!) For example, obsessing over whether Dr. Bob is benevolent or malevolent; worrying that other people want you to die; worrying about what others think of you. It's not normal to feel that way, and I KNOW it's not fun to think that way. Most people do not suffer from those kinds of intrusive and predatory thoughts.
I would seriously encourage you to talk honestly to the family doctor and ask her for professional help. Tell her all the thoughts that trouble you, the urges that are hard to resist, and the social anxiety you face. There are wonderful meds out there. You do not need to experiment on yourself with things that don't work! Seriously - instead of sneaking your mom's xanax and tylenol 3 (I don't even really know what that is), ask your doctor about Prozac, Lexapro, Celexa, or other approved meds. They often have low side effects and are VERY effective for social anxiety.
I'm not a doctor so I don't even know what all is available for your particular symptoms. But please be honest with your doctor and ask her for help. She will keep it confidential (it is the law!) and will help you.
It does sound like the "real Jenny" is in there - the one who wants to be a fitness wonder, the one who wants clean skin, the one who loves her hamster. Think of the fun stuff you want to do in life, and how these sad thoughts are holding you back. If you're honest with the family doctor, she can help you get better NOW. Don't want for maternity leave to be over for the pdoc. That might take forever, and honestly, you need the help NOW.
Why do you talk about 'beating the system?' Why not start talking about 'getting better?'
The thing is, I WANT you to get better. I sort of want to grab you and shake you, shake some sense into you. Of course I can't do that over the web (ha!) and of course wouldn't in real life either, b/c it would not be a friendly thing to do. But you have so much going for you, don't throw it all away! You're nice, and funny, and smart. Please don't try to manipulate the doctor - instead, work WITH her to get yourself the help you need.
I'm thinking of you, and hoping you feel better!
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:505771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/505966.html