Posted by TamaraJ on May 29, 2005, at 15:41:18
In reply to I went to a funeral..... suicide, posted by Spriggy on May 29, 2005, at 11:21:58
(((Spriggy)))
It's hard to know what to say or what to think in these situations. I've been to three such funerals, one of which was my sister-in-law's, and it is heartbreaking and the pain is just numbing. It doesn't matter, I think, how well you knew the person. I think the grief we feel and experience in these situations is about a life cut short by a pain that becomes so unbearable for someone that for them, at that moment in time, it appears that there is no other choice, no hope. It is so very sad and somewhat incomprehensible when someone reaches such depths of despair that they feel they can no longer so on. My first exposure to suicide was when I was about 12, I was asked to babysit two kids whose mother had just died. I had to spend two days at the house taking care of the kids while funeral arrangements were being made. When I first got there, all I knew is that the mother had died. But, I happened to overhear someone talking about how she had actually died - she had taken her own life. I still remember the way I felt. I had never experienced such an overwhelming wave of sadness, to the point of feeling sick to my stomach. It was hard to be with the kids (very young, probably 5 and 7) and try to keep them occupied and amused while the adults took care of things. I just didn't get it. I saw pictures of the woman all through the house, and she was beautiful. Her kids were beautiful. Her husband was beautiful. The house was beautiful. It appeared that her life was beautiful. What could have been so bad that that was her only option? Some people just don't talk about their pain and their thoughts and plans. I know I don't. So, we never know, we just never know. And, that is the one of the hardest parts, I think.
I like what you said "But I wanted to encourage you all to press on, press through, hang on to hope that one day it really CAN get better.
>
> Don't give up!"Words to keep in mind in the darkest hour.
My thoughts are with you, Spriggy. Take good care of you.
Tamara
poster:TamaraJ
thread:504682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/504812.html