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My obsession

Posted by tampagirl70 on May 25, 2005, at 13:45:02

I've posted about this before, but its been a while and its on my freakin mind again, so here goes.

My OCD lets me obsess about my marriage and my husband. Do I really love him? How do I know I love him? What if I don't? Why have I been with him for all these year? Did I ever love him? Can I love him again if I don't right now?.....get the picture?

I'm starting cognitive behavioral therapy next week and I'm very excited about it, but I had a thought yesterday that threw me off. What if during CBT I realize that its not OCD, and I truly don't love him. It seems logical to me that after being with him for 12 years, if I didn't love him, I wouldn't want to be with him, do anything with him, see him or touch him. If I didn't love him, we wouldn't have been able to endure all the things we've been through, I'd be more willing to say "ya know, its not worth it" and be done with him, and I certainly wouldn't find him attractive or funny or see anything positive about him.

So how do you know if you love someone?


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