Posted by jerrympls on April 27, 2005, at 4:46:15
Weird that my depression has improved and my insomnia has gotten worse - infact - it's gotten so bad over the past year that it's gonna cost me my job. My manager told me that - although I do good work - my absences and arriving late to work have been too much and they want to let me go.
Yes, I am registered with our Disability Services dept. and have a case worker who has been trying to work with my managers to work out some accomodations. They've been supportive for a long time now, but I've missed so much work that I'm out of sick leave and vacation time. Plus, I've exhausted my FMLA leave time (12-weeks/year). I was also rejected for short-term disability insurance because of my WEIGHT!!!!!!
I saw a sleep specialist today and he evaluated 3 weeks of a sleep diary I kept and said I have a severe sleep phase disorder. No cure and VERY VERY difficult to get back on track. Very grim news. I mentioned that my sleep problems are going to get me fired and although he was sympathetic - he said "You really should go on medical leave for 3 weeks until we can figure something out." But I can't take any medical leave....
I'm going crazy not being able to sleep when I "should" and wake when I "should." I'm basically at the point where I'm so worn out/burnt out that I don't care if they fire me. But I do care.
I have no savings...nothing. Barely any support from my parents. When I get fired - what do I do for money? How do I pay my bills? What about my insurance???
I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do - where to turn. I've been up all night again (it's 4:45am now) and I'm so exhausted I'm gonna have to call in sick to work otherwise I'll get physically sick due to the exhaustion (as I have before - nausea, vomiting, slightly psychotic episodes). So, just forcing myself to go to work is not gonna work.
Sorry for the long email - but I need help. I am alone here - literally. What can I do? WHat do I do? How do I pay my rent? Food?
Please...anyone...please....
Jerry
poster:jerrympls
thread:490232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050426/msgs/490232.html