Posted by lydia on January 1, 2005, at 10:07:35
i am sorry if u read this, i posted it in, probably the wrong place before. but sh*t, i want you to read it so im copying and pasting it here.
i said goddamn, Interweb. I can't decide weather its comforting or...quite disturbing that i could easily mistake someof your posts as my own.
why are we all so lonely.
i am uh , at a loss, but i'm pretty sure its damn f*cking tragic that we all feel so alienated and misunderstood. don't we all feel like Mistakes?
and we idealize others, oh, to be normal. Normal. "Normal." haha.
i think thats such b*llshit. we are alllllALL of us the "disordered". searching for some peice of meaning. feigning for. what. understanding?
and you know whats f*cking killing us the most? STIGMA. its what causes me the most distress. peopler so ignorant and ...anal. guarded about these things that cause us such mental anguish. I am talking about OUR FRIENDS, our teachers, our coworkers- people dont talk about these things.
we obviously need to talk about these things.
it just doesnt make sense NOT to. ya know? think about it. its no wonder we all feel so alienated. theres something devestatingly urgently important we wish we could scream out , but we're sure it would be in vain. because people label you. Crazy. Crazy f*ckup. Freak. I mean come on, grow up, this is REAL. this is not our choice, we suffer and we do it alone. not like someone with cancer, ,and no i dont think thats an outragous analogy cos dude we're frusterated suicidal full of hate confusion unspeakable despair.
and top that off with isolation.
Chemotherapy doesnt sound worse to me. Die of cancer and you are Brave, they call you, and you'r surrounded by your loved ones,
most likely.
<<>commit suicide in the grasp of a black depression_you are alone_you were f*cking weak and lazy. pain? illness? hu? noo, the girl had a flawed character. they will say. .or something.<>>
i am freeking furious. and i feel really inarticulate here, i am just ranting, but i wanna f*cking DO something. i feel like i wanna help demolish these boundaries that divide us, the Crazy and the...Not. "guess what" i wanna scream. "we are all all of us human and nothing else." i wish there was more, not just..compasion, i mean THAT, of course, but KNOWLADGE. awareness. like i said no one talks about these things, and i find it baffeling and really disturbing how little people know about mental illness. i hate that we are our own little clique, ya know,we need more.
we need our family our friends our neighbors. cos here we feel like freaks, and how else are we supposed to feel...marginalized, thats how we feel.
it is an unspeakable ..error. i mean, it should not BE this way. we deserve more. society needs to smartenup.
PUHLEASE respond to this if you disagree with me in any way, because im all ears. i just want people to talllk. speak ur minds . please ok .
yes. i think thats all for now.
i am simmering.>and it was not my intention to write a f*cking speech here.but the post i just read sparked something in me. i am frusterated. are you???
poster:lydia
thread:436313
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041226/msgs/436313.html