Posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2004, at 9:54:11
In reply to Re: First Day here.Some of my story, posted by Newbfhcards on November 25, 2004, at 3:32:24
You should really try to get in to see a therapist. When you make the appointment, make sure that they know that you will need to see someone who will be available to you because of your previous experience. This is a hard time of year because many therapists take the week off between Christmas and New Years. But with the possible exception of that week, you should be able to find a therapist who will be around for a while. Let them know that this has been a problem for you in the past - they usually try to be careful about things like this if they know that you have history that makes you sensitive to a particular thing.
You also might see if you can talk to the therapist on the phone for 10 minutes before your appointment. Sometimes when we do things like sleep through appointments it is really our unconscious being afraid to go - so we avoid going by sleeping through. It isn't something that you consciously *want* to do, but it can be something that you unconsciously do to protect yourself. If you talked to the therapist a little before the appointment, then you might not be as afraid to go for the session.
Also having someone wake you up and make sure you get there can be a really good idea.
It can be really hard to get started (particularly when your past has shown you that you will put forth all this effort and start to establish a relationship and then have the person abandon you). So I guess that my suggestion is to make sure that the therapist knows why it is hard for you to get started and try to do as many things as you can to get to that first couple of appointments.
It sounds like you do need to go to see a therapist (otherwise the people you saw in the past wouldn't have encouraged you to continue). Feeling suicidal is so scary - please let someone try to help you.
Meds can be helpful, but you are right, sometimes it takes some time to find the right med. Combining meds and therapy has been shown to be the most effective (more than either alone).
I hope you can find someone soon. In the meantime, do post here. I am continuously amazed at how many people have the same feelings and experiences. It really does help to talk about it.
poster:fallsfall
thread:419839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041122/msgs/420468.html