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Re: Problems dealing with not working iris2

Posted by verne on September 26, 2004, at 9:38:34

In reply to Problems dealing with not working, posted by iris2 on September 25, 2004, at 22:27:43

Irene,

I'm in the same boat. I haven't worked in years but would like a part-time job. I've just been floundering. I, too, have few skills. I dropped out of college and never really learned how to do anything - mainly because I didn't enjoy doing anything.

I don't go out except to the doctor and grocery store. I don't drive. I live in isolation. Even telemarketers don't call. Every day I ask myself, how can I go on like this?

I'm not suicidal but I find life meaningless and mostly unenjoyable. Meditating and having more of a "spiritual" life has helped. Lately I've gone into the direction of self indulgence and I'm miserable. I've been experimenting with herbs and botanicals not meant for human consumption - just to experience something different. On the bright side I haven't drank in over ten days - mainly due to access, the person, (friend and enabler) who used to deliver alcohol, died, and the combination of cymbalta and inderal really takes the desire to drink away.

I have to invent reasons to get out of bed in the morning. I have a couple projects that involve research and writing that I hope to one day get to. But instead the house is a mess and I never feel like doing much.

I just ordered "Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder" by Marsha Linehan and hope to just focus on doing the course. I have the teacher's manual to this book which I had ordered by mistake years ago and hope I do better with the actual course book.

Although I have little going on in my life I feel overwhelmed. I'm hoping if I concentrate on one "job", the borderline course, I can crawl out of this rut.

I don't have much in the way of answers but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

verne


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