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Problems dealing with not working

Posted by iris2 on September 25, 2004, at 22:27:43

I have not been able to work for over two years now. Even then I worked a small part-time job because of my depression that hired people that have problems I had a severe bout with a bladder disease that caused me to have to quit. Not working has only added to my depression. Working seems like a pipe dream to me now.
I have felt a little better in the past two months and thought that perhaps I should try to look for a job like dog walking or something like tht skill level. I am very anxious and have has trouble with office jobs in the past even though I have some knowledge and experience with them. Also I have had a lot of sales experience mostly n woman’s clothing but my social abilities are so bad now I cannot even consider this, I had problems even when I was feeling quite well dealing with authority figures in this type of environment. I know it sounds like I am making excuses but extreme anxiety, to be noticed by coworkers and crying every day after work and sometimes during will tell you some of the problems I am dealing with. I also got fired from two jobs because of my inability to remember things from day to day due to the anxiety and depression. I never used to have these problems at least not to any great extent.

I never finished college or trade school so essentially I am without skills.

Looking through the paper today has made me feel worthless and meaningless and hopeless. If I felt better and more confident I would try to go back to school and take a year or two year program that would provide me with a career. I even have one picked out. I wish I felt more confident about it all.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What can I do for a part time job that I can learn on the job?

I never in my life expected not to work for any length of time no matter how sick I became. I need the money but perhaps in my situation I need to feel a sense of accomplishment that a job gives me. It makes me feel like I am an important contributing human being.

I know there are a lot of us out there who are not able to work. How do you deal with it?

I am not much of a self-motivator so when I am not working I generally get nothing done in and around my home. Nor do I go out and do much. This had become partly because I have developed some social phobia and partly because I have an old habit of not allowing myself to have fun if I did not accomplish things (like cleaning) that I know I should have done.

Yes I am rambling on and on. The whole topic had me crying and generally upset the whole afternoon.

How do other people deal with this?

I would more than appreciate a response. Perhaps someone has some ideas or their personal stories might help me. Either way thanks for listening,





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