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Re: Hey Atticus...

Posted by B2chica on August 30, 2004, at 11:30:52

In reply to Re: Hey Atticus check out B2 and Scott in Vermont » Jai Narayan, posted by Atticus on August 27, 2004, at 19:53:39

i hope you read zenhussy's post on how to respond to persons who are suicidal. My T taught me a very valuable lesson. you are ONLY responsible for your own actions...no one elses. i wish i had learned this earlier is life, maybe i wouldn't carry as much guilt and shame like i do now.
If anything were to happen to any poster here it would no more be your fault then the mess in my office.
You are a Very gifted person who has touched my heart with your words. i thank you for that. Never feel responsible.
and i share your feelings of an attempt. it's never pretty, it's never clean cut (sorry for pun). believe me i see the "spots".

What i am feeling i Wish people at babble could help right now, but even this place that has helped me Tremendously before can't help in the way i need now. I need help IRL, i need that person to hold my hand or to hold me in their arms and say they're there no matter what-they won't judge. I truly wish anyone of you could do it but they can't. It hurts. i have survived to be 31 yrs by a great fire inside, the problem is right now I'm the one suffocating this fire, i'm at war with myself. I am asking for help from my docs, and not quite getting it. i don't know what else to do. So for now i was taking it day by day, this weekend and today i am taking it 1/2 hour by 1/2 hour. Soon it may be closer. i'll do what it takes. it aches.
But Atticus, last night when i was down far again...i turned on my tv and you were there. Yes Atticus was there defending, i watched the trial and pretended you were there fighting like you do, i tried to feel your strength and even if for 15min. you helped.
Thank you, and your namesake. You are a good man but remember you are fighting your own fight right now.
b2c.


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poster:B2chica thread:384005
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/384104.html