Posted by Klokka on August 1, 2004, at 11:51:59
In reply to A friend that I have never stopped searching for, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 1, 2004, at 1:31:13
I don't think it's odd at all. I still grieve the loss of my best friend from the second grade and often wonder where she is now and what's she doing in life. It hasn't been quite as long in my case - only about ten years now - but it also hasn't faded with time. (Though if I'm secure in my current friendships it is easier and I'm better able to just look back and be grateful for having known her.)
We didn't spend very much time together outside of school (I don't think my parents were very keen on me going to other people's houses back then, though the problem probably was with me) but did pretty much whenever possible in school. I remember so much more about those times than I do about the rest of my childhood - it's odd. It's worse right now because that was one of the few friendships I've had which didn't make me feel like a sideshow freak - and the one I thought I had now turned out to make my friend uncomfortable. I've tried searches, but to no avail - I don't even remember her parents' first names and they're in the military, so they could be anywhere by now.
I also lost touch with her after some correspondance. We talked on the phone in the fall after she left, I tried sending a letter and never received a response. My parents blamed me for it when I mentioned how much it hurt - I obviously made a mistake with the address or something. I still blame myself, really, for that and for not trying harder to maintain communication. It's too late to do anything about it, and I know that, but I can't let go of it just yet.
Sorry for so much rambling. I wish I had something helpful to say, but nothing's really helped. On occasion I can go a while without thinking too much about it, but when I do, it haunts me. I've never really talked about it before because I thought others might find it strange. I guess I just want to let you know I understand, at least to some extent.
poster:Klokka
thread:372802
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040725/msgs/372877.html