Posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 19:53:05
In reply to Re: My Appointment » SandyWeb, posted by antigua on July 27, 2004, at 16:51:45
It is so strange that people follow my messages. It feels odd. But you know what? There is also a certain sense of gratitude that someone is interested enough in my story to keep up with it. It's not like I'm trying to keep it private from Babble....although that's an entirely different story IRL (hee hee....just learned that IRL means "in real life". I know....slow to learn, but at least I'm not in the dark anymore! HA!!). Thank you for showing an interest. I will NOT take everyone through the journey that I did just before I slit my wrist, though. That was cruel, and I understand NOW how sickening it was for everyone. I'm sorry if you were involved with those messages. I never meant to do that.
I do not think that I will ever do anything to myself again when my kids are at home. I just had reached the end, and I thought my body would be removed before my kids ever saw me. I don't know. I just wasn't thinking properly. I can't even remember a bunch of stuff from that night. But I thought that no one would see my body in the bathroom. I guess that just shows you how unbalanced I was at the time.
Nothing more to say right now. Thank you so much for making yourself known to me. It actually was rather wierd to know that "strangers" were following my messages without making replies.....but you know what? That's okay. Maybe something can be learned over the long run. And I actually APPRECIATE that someone thought enough of my foolish writings to keep following them. Maybe I have some value after all? Pshaw! *smile*