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Deeprooted issues

Posted by Jess24 on July 15, 2004, at 16:33:02

Can you please help me - I don't really know where to start!

I have this incredible ability to attract people that are so 'wrong' for me. I give my all and end up so broken and bruised - this seems to be a pattern and I just can't seem to get out of it.

I recently met somebody that seemed to be so stable, so caring and appeared to have a lot to offer but again, I was left unhappy and misraeble. He seemed to turn on me after all the lovely things he said at the start - putting me down, picking on everything I did, trying to make me feel so bad about myself. However, I realised what he was doing and put a stop to it but I just cannot understand what it is in me that attracts people like this? I feel so sorry for him because he has been through so much in his life but then, so have I but I have been for counselling and have managed to overcome a lot of my problems, have achieved so much and am such a strong person.

I have been quite content being on my own despite the loneliness at times and when he came along I thought that finally Mr Right has appeared - we wanted the same things, shared the same dreams. We talked for hours and found that we both don't want or need the problems we have experienced - so why did I not recognise that he was just the same as the ones before? I decided that I couldn't do this again and ended the relationship (if one can call it that!) because I just can't bear to go through it again, being put down constantly, been made to feel inferior, insecure, and so anxious that I find life a struggle.

I know that we 'allow' people to do things to us but why can I not spot people that are 'dangerous'. I am so vulnerable and so unsure of myself and even though I recognise this, I still keep making the same mistakes.

How do you change a lifelong pattern and stop allowing people with severe problems into your life?

Thanks for 'listening'


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poster:Jess24 thread:366591
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/366591.html