Posted by Racer on June 24, 2004, at 17:42:55
In reply to Re: Correction, posted by TexasChic on June 24, 2004, at 16:09:53
This is so similar to something that I go through all too often myself, so I'm going to share something that I'm hanging onto desperately right now: just because someone else tells you that you're the problem doesn't mean it's true. Even if a whole lot of people tell you that you're the problem, it still doesn't mean it's true. They really could ALL be wrong about it.
You've got a therapist you are working with, right? You've got a pretty good therapeutic relationship in there, I hope. Whether you're the problem or they're all wrong is something you'll work out over time. It's the whole "In The Meantime" part that you've got to get through right now, right? You know what? It *is* a MEAN time.
I don't know if you've followed any of the Saga Of Racer's Nightmare, but this issue was and is a HUGE part of it all. (Disclaimer for everyone who's familiar with the usual length of my posts: I really *do* try to keep them short...) Here's an example from the whole thing: The second therapist assigned to me there was totally hung up on "Diagnosing" patients. I was in a crisis at the time -- total med-induced crisis, with myoclonus, vomiting, not sleeping for several days, just basket-case crisis -- and this broad wants to go through the Axis II Personality Disorders from the DSM-IV to "diagnose" which one I had! Somehow, I was stubbornly resistant to this approach, and delusionally denied the accuracy of her suggested diagnoses. Mind you, all this stuff goes into the patient chart, so everyone involved in my "treatment team" there gets to have a good look at it, and discuss it in the team meetings, right? For the next several months, there was an entire agency -- top to bottom -- telling me I was WRONG about everything I was saying. Telling me that I was getting GREAT care, but was so psychologically damaged that I couldn't accurately perceive how great it was. AND I WAS EVEN TRYING TO BELIEVE IT!!!
Guess what?
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Here's something else: I always believed that I was entirely out of touch with my own feelings. I thought that was the problem. After all, everyone around me *told* me that I felt things I didn't know I felt, so it must be true, right? I just wasn't able to see it, because it was true.One very good therapist, many years ago, during a session when I was crying about being so unable to identify my own feelings told me, "But you can identify your feelings very well -- here are some examples. The problem is that you weren't VALIDATED in them." ('Course, as the story above illustrates, that still doesn't always help.)
So, I think the problem isn't that you were paranoid and it was justified, but that you CORRECTLY identified a REAL situation, experienced APPROPRIATE emotional responses to it, and haven't been able to validate yourself for that.
I hope this gets better for you, and that you do go tomorrow night and do have fun. I can't tell you anything that can help with that, though. Best luck to you.
poster:Racer
thread:359724
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/359929.html