Enlightened tech support

Posted by Cass on June 4, 2004, at 21:47:57

I received this in an email, and I thought it was really clever and touching:
INSTALLING LOVE
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though
the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love
while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right
now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating
system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love
from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many
times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external
components " What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts,
but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to
Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self;
Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-
Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor
and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the
proper time. So Love is installed and running.
One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back
to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
You may send this to someone, but if you delete that is okay -- God's love is not based on
emails.

Thread

Enlightened tech support Cass 6/4/04
Re: Boyfriend 5.0 vs. Husband 1.0 spoc 6/5/04
You guys have made my day. Thanks (nm) antigua 6/5/04
Re: Boyfriend 5.0 vs. Husband 1.0 Cass 6/5/04
Dare I show my hubby that? (nm) gardenergirl 6/5/04

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