Posted by spoc on April 26, 2004, at 20:33:48
In reply to Re: invisibility, posted by Dinah on April 26, 2004, at 19:27:30
Thanks so much for providing so many comforting possible explanations Dinah! All parts of it are applicable at plenty of times, but I do think much more of it has to do with "unintentional contentedness." I'm mainly referring to the cases where people keep talking *around* someone on a thread (often when what they said was something you can be sure would've been responded to if another name accompanied it; and not infrequently when it was even >> directed to someone specific).
Within days may be too quick for someone to jump to conclusions, but not weeks and months of the same pattern. Benefit of the doubt can be given that people don't *realize* they do it, but not about *whether* they do it. It's an easy thing to fall into I'm sure, it doesn't have to be a matter of meanness, but it can't get better if it is instead buried under unrealistic "best case scenario" explanations.
As a matter of fact, even if this is "just" a message board and many of the people here are far from social butterflies in real life, it wouldn't be human nature if nothing akin to cliques ever formed. And in most of life as well as at most message boards, it's rightly a matter of things being what you make of them, even if it's hard. But this place is supposed to be a little different, and not require people (who may not be up to it) to struggle as hard to be heard and known as they may have to elsewhere.
Maybe in some other cases, people understandably prefer the reliably soothing or gentle or even idealistic voices, but that's just not how all people with problems manage to express themselves. As long as a person isn't mean or antogonistic, support and acceptance are supposed to be readily available to all here; and an occasional "I hear you : )-(nm)" wouldn't be too much. Maybe the board cycles and turns over and then more people who remain get noticed.
But thanks again for comforting anyone here who feels this way, and your points are good, and true in many cases! :- )