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Re: Why ask someone else? (possibly...) » Jai Narayan

Posted by 64Bowtie on April 11, 2004, at 13:04:05

In reply to Why ask someone else?, posted by Jai Narayan on April 10, 2004, at 12:07:32

> If you beleive it, if you feel it... then why ask someone else?
> You have the answer to your question in your heart.
>
>
<<<Thanx for asking a 'great' question!

Possibly, because that's what we do. We wait for approval. We find our social balance point in some impossible place; between someone else's ears! Their brains ain't any more efficient and accurate than our brains, yet we trust 'em first. Darn, that sounds like a bad idea! So why do we do it? why do we trust someone before we trust ourselves?

One clue is we are hardwired to avoid dissatisfaction, which we handle as children by deferring the decisions to our primary dependency object; Mom. When we don't get that updated and find ourselves floundering at age 39 or earlier, we readily ask advice from the darnedest folks. Like a husband we already know the answer from, cuz its safe! In my case it was anyone I felt safe asking, not someone particuliarly wise; just safe. Bad Idea.... mostly.

Rod


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