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Re: unhealthy does not always equal needy

Posted by bookgurl99 on March 31, 2004, at 9:32:38

In reply to Re: unhealthy does not always equal needy bookgurl99, posted by jane d on March 31, 2004, at 6:40:44

> PS. One quibble. "Real illness" vs hypochondria? Remember your posts are being read by people like me who have heard depression distinguished from "real" illnesses far too many times.

Jane --

Hmm. I guess I mean healthy in a different way than being completely physically or mentally well. Someone can have a physical or mental illness, and yet be healthy in the sense that they are taking care of themselves as much as reasonably possible.

You as a friend might make accomodations of some sort for them -- for example, visiting a friend with M.S. at her home if going out uses too much energy. You might pick something up for her on the way over if she hasn't been able to get out of the house. Yet, these accomodations wouldn't get to the point of 'taking care' of her.

I think we all need help sometimes. But there are some people for whom your relationship/friendship could be based largely on helping them, or who only call you when they need something.

My concern is that I'm meeting a _lot_ of people who are not approaching normal in this respect. Yet they seem so when I meet them. So I'm wondering why I'm a nut magnet and how I can start meeting more people who are together.

Honestly, I think it's a self-esteem issue in part. Mine is quite low, and part of me thinks I'm not "good enough" to hang out with the normal people. I've got to find a way to change that vibe and 'attract' more healthy, creative, positive, spiritual people.


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