Posted by lonelygirl on March 29, 2004, at 6:28:41
In reply to I can’t do this, posted by lonelygirl on March 28, 2004, at 16:47:47
I see myself here and worry... I am so needy. Once I find someone (or more than one) who will listen to me, I just dump all of my problems on them until they get sick of me and hate me. I feel so selfish and greedy. I hate needing people, needing attention, but it is like an uncontrollable addiction that I can't let go of.
I should be keeping these things to myself (about my insanity), but I just have this unremitting need to tell someone, to get someone to listen to me. Why? What difference does it make? I have gone so long without anyone in my life, but I can never completely shake the addiction of desperately wanting someone to care about me. When someone does care (or even pretends to) the least little bit, far from satisfying my needs, it unleashes an increasingly intense craving for more.
Then I have to hold on to anything I have --squeeze out every possible bit of caring I can get -- only it is never enough. I see myself doing it and I am shocked and ashamed, yet I can't stop...
poster:lonelygirl
thread:329535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329739.html