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Its worth hanging on..

Posted by fi on March 22, 2004, at 4:37:09

Not sure if anyone will remember, but about 7 weeks ago I was in a right state, overwhelmed in depression and anxiety. Ended up in hospital, but extremely lucky that I have episodic depression- grim but only lasts a week to 10 days.

Apart from the fact I am now pleased I didnt harm myself as I am better, there were some things that helped me not to harm myself at the time. I am sharing them just in case other people find them useful. Apologies if I have done this already- I cant remember.

1. Its easy to think that it will be such a relief and peaceful after you die. But you wont feel that relief, as you wont exist.

2. It might go wrong and you will end up with horrible physical problems as well as depression.

3. Once someone in a family has killed themselves, it makes others in the family more likely to do so in future- somehow it has become a more 'acceptable' option.

4. It will devastate family, friends and even work colleagues. If you say 'good' at that, then its better to express your anger another way. Your family and close friends will be scarred forever if you kill yourself.

5. It is never a better option for your family and friends for you to kill yourself rather than being 'a burden'. However much you feel that at the time.

6. Linked with that one, remember that depression distorts your thinking. Dont take everything you think as accurate! For example, feeling that the future will be bleak,that you will never get better, that no-one can like you etc

7. Dont judge how you will be by how you feel now; and dont be too 'impressed' by it. Its only thoughts and feelings which dont harm you long term.

Things that might help to get thru the next 10 minutes (well, they worked for me anyway):

Call the Samaritans (or other hotline/helpline). I called them every morning and it did help me to cry and offload.

Dont make harming yourself too easy. I had a bottle of harmful old pills that I threw out just the day before I got suicidal (thank goodness).

Make sure your pdoc/doctor/nurse knows how you feel. It is undignified to plead for help, but if you realise you need to, do it!

I'm sure there are other things you know of, and there are the wider things like eating enough not to feel lousey, exercise, music etc.

Hang on in there. There is a good chance you will get better- allow yourself just a little hope, and only plan to get thru.

And praise yourself for each minute you get through- its a huge achievement.

Fi


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poster:fi thread:326915
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