Posted by Racer on March 19, 2004, at 16:57:53
In reply to denial, river in Egypt (kinda long), posted by almondjoy on March 19, 2004, at 15:53:43
This may sound like a whole different subject, but I've been having a similar problem lately with my therapist and others. I stated to her, in what context I forget, that I am a middle aged woman. Now, I know that there are a lot of negative connotations to that: middle aged women are invisible, less attractive, past their usefulness, etc. That's not how I see it, though: I have survived more than half my expected lifespan, during that time I have acquired wisdom and experiences and skills, and I no longer have to be the cooperative child. I have EARNED the right to be an adult, by virtue of having survived the first half of my life.
And yet, rather than letting me express that, she keeps saying, "Oh, no you're not..." "Don't say that" etc. She won't even let me explain what I mean by it. Do you see the similarities I do with your situation?
I think that a lot of people feel so uncomfortable with any such subject that they hide their heads in the sand, hoping it will go away if they just don't admit it exists. You know and I know that that isn't the way it works. We don't have the luxury of denying it, we have to live it. I guess the choices I can see for your situation are to sit back and say, "Gee, I'm glad I'm not stuck in that river," or to try once more to explain to him -- not about your experience of your illness -- but that it does exist and it would help you if he would acknowledge it. He doesn't have to fix anything, you just want him to acknowledge your reality -- that you suffer from a mental illness, and that it's like diabetes in that you'll have to work at control and management, rather than looking for it to be cured. I can't promise it will help, and I can't promise that he won't throw up his hands and walk out the door. What I can promise, though, is that if you state clearly and plainly that you would like him to acknowledge your reality, you will know that you've done something to help yourself.
I do hope that helps.
poster:Racer
thread:326152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040316/msgs/326175.html