Posted by LindaWelfare on February 13, 2004, at 0:29:09
I hope this post isn't insufferable. I've just been moving through this totally weird, arcane psychodrama and was hoping someone might relate.
For the past couple of years, I've felt stupid. Where once I considered myself frothy and hyper-referential and kind of smart, now I find myself at a loss for words in the middle of modest conversation.
Worse, if I encounter someone who seems witty or more astute, or evokes the previous me, my self-esteem plummets and I feel like an idiotic fishwife.
Is there anyone out there who is CONSTANTLY calibrating their intellect and personality, sustaining an internal critic who is AT ALL TIMES denouncing you as not as interesting as you used to be, informing you with glee that you've not only missed the boat, but didn't know there was a boat to miss?
I know I'm being vague and self-indulgent, but this motif has really been destroying me for some time and I'm just hoping for a bit of comisseration.
poster:LindaWelfare
thread:312693
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040209/msgs/312693.html