Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 26, 2003, at 20:53:00
I don't know about the rest of you, but holidays aren't anything that I look forward to. They take way too much out of me, and give me far too little in the rewards department.
Today, I was really close to calling Emergency Services to find someone to talk to. For me, holidays are a time where I have to play a part for a family that won't accept me for who I am. A brother and his wife are now treating me as if nothing bad had ever happened between us. His last letter to me put me in the hospital after a nearly successfull suicide attempt. I can't play nice for the family parties just to make everything look right. So.... I sit, don't say anything, feel my blood pressure rise, hear a chorus of voices saying "Get out now!", and try to sit there just the same.
Well, it's over; it doesn't feel over, but it's over. I spend time with special friends. Other 'friends' who say they'll call have told me that they forget my number. Every time I see them they ask for the number. They could wallpaper their home with the sheets they've written my number on. I get the hint.
The special friends though, they don't forget my number. They call. They don't ask me to call later. They make holidays bearable.
Well, that's my tirade. The club is for those of us who recognize that holidays can be terribly difficult. During the times where everyone else is spending too much money, and enjoying it, we're wondering how on earth we are going to manage to brush our teeth.
If you care to join, you will be joining arms with some of the most wonderfull people on the planet. Welcome.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:293632
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031217/msgs/293632.html