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Re: Will I Ever Get the *Dys* out of Dysfunctional? » Susan J

Posted by tealady on December 13, 2003, at 0:07:22

In reply to Will I Ever Get the *Dys* out of Dysfunctional? , posted by Susan J on December 12, 2003, at 10:38:55

> Been e-mailing a guy for about a month now, from an internet dating service. He seemed really cool, and very interested, and e-mailed several times a day. Seemed very interesting, spoke several languages, was a cameraman for a major network, got to travel, and all that. We seemed to have a lot in common.
>
> Well, I began to wonder why he never wanted to meet....since he e-mailed so often. What was up? I called him on it, and he said his work schedule's really busy but he'd really like to meet me. Still no meeting.


My first impresion would be he doesn't think he'll come up to scratch for some reason ..like perhaps he's got a beer belly which he's trying to lose or..
Have you tested his language skills out?


> I googled his e-mail address and instead of the name *Todd* which he'd been telling me (all names are false), it came up *Michael* instead. Hmmmmmmm, not sounding good. So I called him (he'd given me his number twice). He didn't answer but the machine said, "hi, this is Michael." Not Todd like he'd been calling himself all this time. He did call back and explain (to my voice mail) that his name was Michael Todd and that folks at work called him Michael and friends called him Todd, and *I can call him Todd."

well that doesn't show much thought, not telling you his other name when he gives out his phone no...at the least forgetful

But probably the majority of people I know have different names used by family, work, mates etc
..so it's quite common

BTW my brother's answering machine always had unusual answering messages..usually associated with taking orders for greasy take-away shops, pizza shops, a massage parlour, brothels..all with appropriate accents...
always a laugh and ever changing.
He's decided it doesn't do to answer business calls that way ...
For instance his name is John..but being too many John's , the family has called him Lee..work acalls him John ..as that was on his birth certficate..mates call him lots of things..often his surname though


>
> Well, this isn't getting rid of the red flags, so I politely called him on it again this morning, saying hey, are you Todd Carson or Michael Souder? If there's a reasonable explanation, I'm all ears. If not, please do not contact me again.
>
> Very strong for me. Before, I would've just ignored that and hoped for the best. I was pretty proud of myself for confronting it. He wrote back immediately and was MAD at me. Said work calls him Michael, his friends call him Todd, and *I don't know about you.* And that he's got both his parents' last names....
>

I don't think what you said would justify anger from him either, was the tone angry or joking? I'm assuming angry if you are upset.

I think you deserved an explanation..that wouldn't have taken much..and it was his slip up.

So he doesn't give me a good vibe either, not because of the names mixup, but from his slip in not explaining it to you when he gave his phone no and his reaction. From what you've said he ain't coming across as a match to you in intelligence, wit or thoughtfulness, is he?

Like you said ..perhaps not a deep thinker?


<<Yeah, me too. I've worked in prisons and worked with politicians, as I told Michael Todd Whomever, neither of those groups is particularly honest and I've seen and been victim to my share of lies and even seen a few people leading double lives!

Ok, so which lie more?
Jan


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poster:tealady thread:289089
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/289293.html