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Re: I figured it out, but I wish it helped more. » kara lynne

Posted by Tabitha on September 15, 2003, at 19:34:21

In reply to I figured it out, but I wish it helped more., posted by kara lynne on September 15, 2003, at 18:20:43

Wow KL, those are some terrific insights! Your therapist earned her fee that session. I went through a similar process about 3 years ago.. truly the last episode was the worst, then the pattern broke. I thought I'd die if I couldn't have that guy, even though I intellectually knew I didn't really even like him too much. After he rejected me I had tremendous compulsions to go do stalker stuff like show up at his office, home, etc. Non-stop obsessing, it was miserable!

Once you really get it, at a deep level, that it's not about HIM, it's about your past, your childhood patterns, your un-healed pain from your parents, and stop acting out the pattern in your love life, well, then relationships are like a whole new world.

I know you're still hurting, but I'm really excited for you that you're starting this growth period. Your ex may well keep acting out his engulfment issues for the rest of his life.. while you can outgrow your old stuff, and start having relationships that are more real and more grounded in the present.

Excellent work!

 

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