Posted by kara lynne on September 11, 2003, at 19:06:26
In reply to Re: fallsfall » kara lynne, posted by fallsfall on September 10, 2003, at 15:29:55
I'm still shaking. It's kind of long so I'm not sure whether to post it here for you to read or not. I just wanted you to know you were the impetus for my taking this step. When I first read your email my heart sank at the idea of having to make that final cut. Then I went for counseling, fully intending that the counselor agree that for the time being I could continue to do what I have been-- nothing. That had been alright because it was the only way I could protect myself from becoming involved with him again--I was too succeptible. I still feel succeptible, but I guess it was time to push forward. The counselor agreed it was time for the letter, and helped me start it. Writing it sent me back into all that abandonment again, and of course I had to confront the inevitable futility of ever working anything out with him. Although I agonized over it--and it was hardly perfect-- I finally just had to send it anyway.
Here comes the waiting for the response. I'm not sure how I want to handle that yet. I don't think I'm strong enough to delete it before reading it.
Just wanted to let you know.
poster:kara lynne
thread:257677
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/259178.html