Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 0:09:20
Just thought I would reach out here. I'm feeling really down tonight but I don't know if I should go into detail online. I'm frustrated about a lot of things right now and wonder if it will get better for me. Please don't think I'm being self-centered, I don't mean to be. A friend once told me I was the most self-centered person she ever met. I have never been told that in my life. Maybe I am. She later apologized, felt bad, and said to never think I was and to get it out of my head that what she said hurt me, but why would she say it if it wasn't true? We're not friends anymore but that's why I say please don't think I'm being self-centered here, I really don't mean to be. My doctor just increased my Lamictal to 50mg, I'm still on the Lex, but it goes deeper than the meds. I am hurting inside and no matter how much I try to think I'm not or that everything is ok, the fact of the matter is that I don't know what to do to feel better. I just don't know what to do. I have a huge hole and I don't know how to fill it. I smoke, I eat ice cream, I'm gaining weight again. I just sent an email out and I was crying as I wrote it because I was talking about "things". I don't know whether to just go with the flow, I don't know if I'm being too hard on myself, I don't know if I'm taking things too seriously or what, but I hurt, I'm crying, I hurt. I just don't get it. I don't want to be on a pity-pot, there's so many things burdening my heart right now that I want to go away and I don't know how!
I just don't know how!
poster:galkeepinon
thread:258620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/258620.html