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Dear Ones

Posted by Temmie on August 31, 2003, at 22:18:39

In reply to Re: I am Feeling Creepy Tonight » fallsfall, posted by Temmie on August 31, 2003, at 9:29:10

I found so many wonderful notes between last night and this morning -- I'm hoping to find time at the library tomorrow, so I can write you all more personally. Thank you for keeping me company on a night of darkness and despair. I ... do ... seem mired in some kind of confusion. It's mirrored in the paperwork that clutters the dining room table, my desk in the basement, and which now spills out onto the floor, as well.

How to organize? How to ... just put things away. Hmmmm. I'll have to get the Morgenstern (sp?) book. You know, "Organizing from the Inside Out." I think that's the title.

Anyhow, I did manage to "chop wood and carry water" today in the care I extended to my little piggies -- giving them fresh timothy hay for bedding, kale from the grocery, and slices of cucumber, as well. They're happy, and I'm happy that they've been properly taken care of, after too many days with the same old bedding.

Tomorrow I have one last "coffee date" with a man I met through my personal ad. This guy mentioned being at the "top of his field" (albeit in a humble way), and when I did a google search -- he actually popped up -- picture included. He's an educational professional. Good grief. It took me six months before I could say 'curriculum and instruction' without stumbling. I don't know how to begin describing what his bio noted as accomplishments (and don't have it handy). Suffice it to say, we're coming from too opposite ends of the spectrum (success vs. stumbling) -- intersecting, presumably -- in that place of striving for a "spiritual life," and companionship with one "on the path."

What does all this mean?

I have no idea! Truth is, meeting and talking with these men has been a good sort of ... um ... 'assist' ... in getting over my need for and despair about Paul ... And, truth is -- I'm moving back to where I'd started at the beginning of it all: being alone. (And that's just fine.)

I've got my kiddos coming in on Tuesday morning (14 little fresh-faced eight-year olds) and my second-to-last grad class starting Wednesay night. I'm going to be busy. And busy will be just fine.

I'm sorry ... I'm rambling. I'll be back soon with more time to respond to some of your posts. Until then, wishing everyone well ... wishing everyone sweet dreams ...

Temmie


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poster:Temmie thread:255775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/256022.html