Psycho-Babble Social | for general support | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Letter to my Son - Help (long)

Posted by leeran on August 29, 2003, at 12:09:53

In reply to Letter to my Son - Help (long), posted by Temmie on August 28, 2003, at 10:58:02

Just stopping in momentarily to make a quick comment.

Temmie, how could ANYONE question your parenting abilities after raising a son who is a National Merit Honor Society scholar with a $36,000 scholarship? I believe intelligence is largely determined by genetics, but providing an atmosphere wherein your son could thrive (yes, thrive) is living testament to your ability to not only parent your child - but love him on a day-in/day-out basis, regardless of the schoolyard scuffs, or the sick days, arguments, etc.

Sure, it's easy to swoop in and make judgements from the sidelines (which is where it sounds like his father has taken safe refuge all these years), but we all know that the real hard-core parenting is the day-to-day drudge that ultimately forms the backdrop of another human being's life.

You've done the best job you can and you should be commended - versus criticized - for the role you've played (and will continue to play) in your son's life.

I skimmed your post rather quickly and am responding before taking my husband to work - but let's face it . . . a lot of kids have experimented with drugs and alcohol at a much younger age than eighteen. Do I condone that? No, of course not - but it's reality. It was the reality when I was a teen back in the seventies (a rather straitlaced teen who was, nonetheless, exposed to marijuana by the age of fifteen) AND it's the reality today.

Regarding his depression . . . I am never one to minimize depression (especially after experiencing it myself), but I do think many teens have those desperate-feeling moments. I know I did - - - every breakup, brush-off, or heck, every blink from another human being in my peer group - could momentarily send me to the depths of despair.

Your son is going through so many transitions right now . . . remembering back, the same time in my life was one of the scariest, yet titillating eras in my forty four years on this spinning planet.

Please note - I'm no one to give advice . . . I've gone through my own personal hell with my #1 (and only) son here recently. That said, I just wanted to stop in and add my support as a mother who has rarely had an "angst-less," guilt-free moment since finding out I was pregnant sixteen years ago!

Perhaps your son's father should express his concerns directly to his son (again, loosely interpreted from my very quick scan of your post), instead of using you as a vessel to deflect his own inadequacy (was that uncivil? if the person doesn't post here . . . oh well, I've been on a self-imposed "distracted" ban for several months anyway - LOL!).

You are now in my thoughts and prayers . . .

Stay strong and positive for your son. Sounds like that's been the M.O. for the last eighteen years, and from my vantage point, it looks like it's worked.






Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Social | Framed

poster:leeran thread:255034