Posted by whiterabbit on July 17, 2003, at 14:25:15
In reply to sweet tina.., posted by justyourlaugh on July 17, 2003, at 11:08:04
Is it something in the water? Some kind of biochemical warfare "Divorce Virus"? Subliminal messages in the beer commercials?
Actually there's nothing subliminal about those beer commercials - go to the nearest bar, order our brand of beer, and you'll be surrounded by hot babes in no time - yes we're talking to YOU, Studly!
Tina, I am so sorry. I'm not really far ahead of you, my husband announced our upcoming divorce in March and I had the petition in my hand by June, and the only reason it took him THAT long was, he had a heart attack in May...too many gymnastics during his afternoon session with the girlfriend, no doubt.
So I got knocked down pretty hard with all this news at once:
1.) I don't love you.
2.) I love someone else.
3.) I don't care if you need medicine and have no insurance.
4.) I don't care if you're unemployed and broke for the first time in 25 years.
5.) I want our house for my New Life and I don't intend to support you any longer.
Nice huh? He always was a real sweet guy...he actually went through my jewelry box and picked out the stuff he got me for Christmas.
Now, that's class.
But I'll live through this and so will you, Tina, and so will Miller and so will Kara - we may look all soft and mushy right now but inside we're tough, inside all of us beats the heart of an Airborne Ranger. You know how I know?
Because anyone who can endure the depression and other horrors thrown at us time after time by our own traitorous minds, anyone who deals with that kind of pain ALL the time - anyone who keeps getting up again every time they're knocked down, they HAVE to be strong inside.
Alright, two books for you:
"Divorce Busting" - don't know the author but it shouldn't be hard to find. It's NOT about how to keep the house cleaner or how to be sexier for your man or any of that crap, it's actually intelligent reading...things you need to consider when divorce is looming, some things that you can do that maybe WILL help even if your husband has zero interest in working things out.
IF divorce looks inevitable, you must go out right away and buy this book: "Fair Share Divorce For Women" by Kathleen Miller CFP, MBA.
Here's a sobering thought from the book:
A WOMAN'S STANDARD OF LIVING DROPS 73 PERCENT DURING THE FIRST YEAR AFTER A DIVORCE AND THE AVERAGE MAN'S STANDARD OF LIVING IMPROVES 42 PERCENT THE SAME YEAR.
That's the awful truth, because the reality is this:
-Women view divorce as a highly traumatic and painfully emotional experience, and while they're simply trying to survive through the feelings of abandonment, rejection, and failure,
-Men view divorce as a business transaction and are primarily concerned with protecting "his" property and financial assets
Sad but true cause that's the way we're made. In general. So, even if the guy breaks your heart, DON'T let him take you to the cleaners as well.
One last thing - get a therapist if you don't have one, or find a good one if yours is mediocre.
My therapist has really helped me with this - she gives me practical advice AND hope for the future.
She says I'm dealing with this divorce better than most women - most NORMAL & SANE women even.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have "pressing" business with my voodoo doll, I haven't run him over with the car yet. Maybe 3 times like that woman in Dallas...too bad I wasn't on HER jury, she would have walked. I would have seen to it.
Two old ladies layin in bed-
One rolls over to the other and says,
"I wanna be an Airborne Ranger
Live a life of guts and danger."
One mile - no sweat
Two miles - better yet...