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Re: How do I survive? » giget

Posted by yesac on July 15, 2003, at 14:35:33

In reply to Re: How do I survive?, posted by giget on July 15, 2003, at 12:44:02

Yeah, you know it's weird about drinking. I wouldn't say that I have ever had a problem with it. I binged in college and got really trashed at times, but I never felt like "oh I really need to drink". Then I got kinda bored with it and felt like it was lame and made me more depressed sometimes, or mellow. But also I thought it wasn't worth the money or calories. So I stopped drinking except an occassional drink now and then. Haven't really been drunk in years. But there is alcoholism in my family. And last night, I really could imagine how it could turn into a problem. Just wanting every night to drink so that I can feel like I don't care, feel that mellowness, maybe not be so bored. I know that drinking because of depression is a bad idea. But sometimes I just don't care about that. Thanks for the warning though.

Last night I bought nail polish and I was gonna paint my nails but then didn't. I try to clean, stuff like that, but it just doesn't seem to take enough time. You're lucky to love cooking. I don't love doing anything. People have sometimes asked what do I like to do. And it's like, I don't know. I've said read, which is true but not lately, work out (but that's not really enjoyable, just something to do, plus I haven't done that in months either), travel (stressful and expensive). Watch tv? No. Movies? Not really. Shop? HELL NO!! I like to drive around. I like to crochet when I get into a phase with it. But it all takes motivation too.

About the rapid cycling. It's interesting that you said that, because I'm not really bipolar. But, you know, they say it's all on a spectrum, and I guess you could call what's happening for me lately rapid cycling. I just don't ever feel hypomanic or really up. Just better and worse. And a lot worse.


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