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Help. : (

Posted by kara lynne on July 11, 2003, at 23:06:42

He was there today when I went for my stuff although he had promised he wouldn't be. He said he'd wait upstairs and I wouldn't have to see him, but I couldn't stand it and went to him. The first thing he asked was if I was alright. It just felt so condescending I didn't answer. After a few business related sentences he asked if he could hug me. It was long and sad and I could have stayed forever, but I broke away.

I left and went to my parents where I put some of my stuff. They were ok, but there is always the underlying family stuff. I just wished I could come home to him so badly.

He just seems so fine, although he told the friend who was helping me today that I was
"the love of his life" and this was very hard for him too.

I get home and see this bulk email from his office that was sent to all his customers and business contacts; I don't know whether his secretary unknowingly sent it to me or he did. Without including his company name it reads:

--Wanting to make sure our important friends have this information, weíre sending out this impersonal email. This is an exciting time for us. Our new books are getting a lot of attention. And a house ó a remarkable example of Storybook-style architecture from the ë30s ó really caught our eye. Fortune smiled on us, and we were able to lease the new ******House house.

The new office shares an address with the house, but itís an entirely separate building, once home to birds-of-prey owned by the original architect.

Invitation-only events at the house will help announce the real world arrival of projects like...---

Well you get the message. I couldn't refrain from writing him back asking if he's ever considered a course in sensitivity training. So where I might have been moving in with him on Monday, he has sent me an email that this is now what will be there instead.

I am just so sad. I am so hurt. This pain will never go away. I have been rejected, it's not just a feeling. He didn't love me enough to make it work, and he married his company instead of me. Most likely he has already found another woman who would be happy to live there with him and be a better fan than I was, and a better cook.

People say I will get over the heartbreak. I am home alone, wishing I were with him. I am too tired to do anything more today, but I am so lonely I feel like I could die.


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poster:kara lynne thread:241060
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/241060.html