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Re: Please tell me any reason not to call him...

Posted by giget on July 10, 2003, at 11:23:09

In reply to Please tell me any reason not to call him..., posted by kara lynne on July 9, 2003, at 22:52:54

Kara,
Goddess I wish you could see how my life was and is now. I find myself even now, calling my ex, and getting mad when he does not call back. We said it was over, so why would he call back.

Hang in there, I have found the same times, only realizing after I have called that I did call, and what did I say? Who knows, but him.

All he will do is hurt you again... he is a control person.

He is in control of you and what you do. He is just gerking you around like his little doll. I remember one thing my ex has said to me.... I thought it was cute at the time... I think your ex is saying the same thing
" I wish I could put you in a little box under my bed and bring you out when I want to play"
What a male shoven.... ok, I am sorry, I just have a anger problem I know.

You do not want him to know where you live. THen you can always say, well sometime he has to be in the neighborhood why does he not stop by, or call. Eventually you will get over him, and will not want him to know where you live or how to get a hold of you.... it will happen, it will just take time.

How can he move on and leave you in shambles? Men are wired differently, YY chromosome. They have different thought patterns, more of a single task person...

I am not getting down on men, just pointing out the differences... I could say the same for womyn!

MOst womyn want a man who understands you, who understands what you want and need. Why else would we say that nothing is wrong when there really is something wrong. We want them to think like we do. Why do we spend so much time trying to explain our feelings about a situation, only for them to say they understand just to shut us up. They will never understand, just like we will never understand them. That is what makes the sexes different and what attracts straight people.... It is the ultimate challeng to try and figure out the other sex...

Ok... tangent!!!!

So what I am trying to say, in a few words, is just give it some time. You will have to go through the seperation feelings, the lonely feelings, the greif and other stuff, but will be a whole person again. You can be a whole person by yourself. You do not want to attract the wrong people in your life right now, you are like a small youth, fragile, don't let him get in your way of having a real life...

Just don't call him.... Call me anytime... I am always up, I don't sleep much anymore.

> I'm having a really panicky time, lately. Like driving on the freeway if I'm stuck in traffic, I envision myself getting out the car and just walking and telling anyone who asks that I'm simply having a panic attack and cannot stay in the car.
>
> Likewise I've got this compulsion to call the ex--in a moment of desperation, like a fix, but I don't even know why. I know it would be demeaning and demoralizing if I called him right now. I know he will not ever give me anything I need. He's not even trying to find out where I live! I'm just stunned that he really can give me up so easily. I can't get over it. I was staying with a vapor, who never chose to be with me the whole time I was with him. It was like I could've stayed or gone, all the same to him.
>
> My therapist says, "It's time for you to come to yourself", you know, patent sentences that sound so predictable, but feel so un-do-able. It's going on three weeks since I've seen or talked to my ex (except for a few emails) after five years of being together. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to just yank myself away and start a new life?
>
> I want to get over those panicky, impulsive moments where I feel like my hand is going to jump out in front of me and dial the phone without my permission. I don't know what's going on with me. I'm moving again in 20 days so I can't unpack, but I can't move forward.
>
> I'm sorry so many people are having such a hard time right now. I'm sorry to be so redundant.
>
>


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