Posted by Dinah on May 29, 2003, at 18:50:13
In reply to Spousal Support, posted by mair on May 29, 2003, at 13:21:05
My husband and I have a don't ask, don't tell policy. He's the only person who's even more certain that I need to continue therapy than I am. He sees my therapist as the only barrier between him and my craziness.
From time to time he says he wants me to come to him with what's going on. But he doesn't really. I mean, he does in theory. But in practice he way over-reacts and makes things worse. He'll become even more parental than he usually is. Or he'll hurt me by asking if it's safe to leave my son alone with me. You guys know way more about my problems than he does, because he's just not safe in that way. And I wouldn't *dream* of asking him to therapy.
All that being said, he's a wonderful, terrific man. And he is supportive in so many ways that impact my illness. He really carries more than his fair share in our household. He's my best friend, a great dad, and makes me laugh.
But he has a low tolerance for imperfections. And not being able to help scares him and makes him angry. So it's just counterproductive to share mental health issues with him.
Do you think your husband just doesn't know what to do to make it better, so gets angry at not being able to fix it?
poster:Dinah
thread:229950
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/230035.html