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Re: lostsailor's wedding dilemma

Posted by lostsailor on May 5, 2003, at 9:56:00

In reply to lostsailor's wedding dilemma, posted by maryhelen on May 2, 2003, at 15:29:33

Sailor is forming a finale opinion today.
It will be done with therapist,
(so it may not be my own.
I will use ?I? statement, though)
so I don't just come out as too pis***
I think you know the word

I'll post later to all interested...

My friend, whom I love dearly,
will have to deal with fact
at this point
if I came
I would be a flight of spite.

What a way to celebrate love...

I really feel as though he is pushing me into it instead of inviting me knowing the stress level I have told him about and that he knows I suffer from in general. I mean doc, without even a wink , said if you can have but one drink --and nurse it--100 mg of valium would be fine on top of normal meds and a few prns. The funny thing is even my shrink thinks he?s putting me in a precarious position, not by the invite, of course, but by my attempts to be honest with him which truly took courage. God, I think the blushing bride and her family will hear the jingle of pill bottles before even seeing me..eek. I am fine with her re that but friends of theirs and her family I feel a bit funny about?

Abcde?s in a nut shell...

a) maybe your best friend just wants you to be
at his wedding;--he does, I know that, and, for that, am happy and truly honored.

b) if you got married, would you want him at
your wedding; Yes and no--I would love him to be there (though I will probably never marry--lmao) but not at the expense of his mental health, which he has a history of., too.

c) maybe your the only one he trusts to housesit
and be amongst his private things; this is a tough one and you just made me proud to see it that way.
I do wonder, though, how my new friend, his fiancÚ, feels about him NOT WANTING (caps meant) her family in the house alone. On top of that, I am a terrible snoop. =J

d) maybe you'll meet your future bride at his
wedding; That is a really nice thought and I don't really know what to say.?(would it be easier if I was in love and ?she? was there with me. Yes. Is that sad/bad?)

e) probably I haven't got a clue what I'm talking
about. You have a clue. Definitely.

I am going to write him a letter or call them tonight, which I prefer to be honest b/c I think she knows me better in a year than he in 20. I don't mane that in the harsh fashion that it may sound, but there are just so many factors it seems.

I like the ideaup-dating of the tickets and am going to that as part or their gift. As for my flight, I would rather pay and feel ok if I can't make it. I know I am obsessing on this. I am just so scared of ending up in a hospital while there. San Francisco is the city of angels and I see my- self in a tight white jacket instead of a tux. Now that I find scary...lmao





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