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Re: The biggest shock in my life..... ayuda

Posted by maryhelen on May 3, 2003, at 12:59:16

In reply to Re: The biggest shock in my life..... maryhelen, posted by ayuda on May 2, 2003, at 22:08:10

Ayuda:

Thank for you your kind words of encouragement. You know, for me it was the ultimate betrayal. The man I loved and trusted more than anyone in life. Then I had to struggle with the love/hate thing. Hating him so much for what he did to my daughter and yet (I think) loving the man as my father. Lots and lots of therapy sessions. Nothing resolved really. He's been dead now for 7 years so I guess it get's easier. Sexual abuse is a very difficult thing to know how to handle. I told my brothers and sisters who had children to ensure nothing would happen to them and to possibly initiate some sensitive dialogue between them. Because my memories were suppressed for so long I don't think they ever really believed me and that hurt so much. My daughter was a different story. Regardless, there was never a time after that that a child was left alone with my father. That is what I cared about.

I also had never intended to tell my mom about this. At her age and illnesses it was something I didn't think she needed to know. One of my sisters did, which I resented, and then left me holding the bag, so to speak. God love my mother. She walked into to my father's bedroom and confronted him. The shock for her after 55 years of marriage was almost too much for her. She is a tiny women and there is no telling how someone is going to react when put in a corner. I admire her for her courage.

You know it always seemed weird to me that my daughter and myself were the "chosen two." I have 9 brothers and sisters and all of them said that nothing ever happened to them. I hope it didn't. One brother even asked me how something like that could happen when there were so many people always around. At one point we lived in a 4 room house with 12 of us there. I asked him if he would like me tell him and he said no.

I did not mean to go on so long with this. Ayuda I am off to visit my daughter and grandchildren today but I would like to respond to your post about what has happened to your neice.

Wow, I just got tears in my eyes thinking of your neice. Why the innocent?

maryhelen


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