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Re: The biggest shock in my life..... maryhelen

Posted by ayuda on May 2, 2003, at 22:08:10

In reply to The biggest shock in my life....., posted by maryhelen on May 2, 2003, at 17:04:38

Maryhelen --
My sister just found out about two months ago that her 7 year old daughter had been repeatedly sodomized by a neighborhood boy she had as a babysitter for several months last year. This boy had also propositioned my 11 year old nephew (my sister's son), and hinted to him that he was abusing my niece but my nephew didn't know it was true until my niece told him (and he in turn told his mom).

My sister also feels like she did not do enough to protect her children, for the attacks were mainly done in her own home. Luckily, like you, my sister's immediate reaction was protective: 1) to trust everything her daughter said, 2) call the police (who are still dragging their feet on doing anything about it), and 3) let her daughter know that she did nothing wrong, and is a good girl.

My niece is handling the situation very well, better than someone 5 times her age would. Then again, she also knows that she was not the only girl in the neighborhood who suffered this situation, but she is the only girl with the guts to confront it head on. She is one of my heroes now.

Like you, my sister thought she had checked-out every MAN who was in her daughter's surroundings, but never did she suspect a 14-year-old boy, just like you would never have suspected your dad at that time. It's not your fault that it happened -- you cannot blame yourself. Like my sister has told me in the past about dealing with irrational people, a person who is not inclined towards, say, child abuse, cannot think like a child-abuser.

It's just sad that children still feel scared to tell their moms or other trusted adults about this and have to live with this "secret." As someone else said here, the neighborhood man, and the neighbor who contacted you, both acted as a catalyst to your finding out. As soon as you thought your daughter was in trouble, you asked, you cared, and you acted. That's what a good mom does in that situation. You did not fail your daughter at all.




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