Posted by paxvox on May 1, 2003, at 20:43:00
In the hollow of your arms,snuggled up all safe and warm, you used to tell me tales of unicorns and kings. But how could I comprehend all the things you told me then of your madness and your struggling?
And my mind would swim in fantasies, like a piece of driftwood on the sea. I had no touchstone for reality. You were my reality.
Like a dark and unlit room or the far side of the moon, your insanity spoke emptieness and fear. And no matter how I tried, how I questioned and I pried, I just could not penetrate that thin veneer.
And I know you tried to comfort me, to soothe and reassure me. But then your strength would always fail and in its place a sliken veil.
Like a dried and wrinkled prune, a deflated toy balloon, I came home and found you strewn across the floor. And as they lay you on your bed I heard you say, "If I am dead, how come it just keeps on hurting more and more?"
And you left me in the early Spring. All they said was, "Mommy's resting." And how was I to know so young it wasn't something I had done?
So please try and understand, I will love you as I can. I do not blame you; your not guilty. But still there's no way to describe the relief I finally found, upon learning it was you...and not me....that was crazy.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:223728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/223728.html