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Re: Well... (unpleasantly graphic and overdisclosing) Dinah

Posted by leeran on April 26, 2003, at 2:06:55

In reply to Well... (unpleasantly graphic and overdisclosing), posted by Dinah on April 25, 2003, at 20:14:02

Please don't have babbler's remorse. You remembered it in such detail that it must be a memory that you need to address now and then.

Your story reminds me so much of one of my best friend's stories of a man who lived down the street from her family. He lured her onto his lap one day, while he sat in the garage wearing only his boxer shorts. She has vague memories of perhaps seeing his *****. She was close to the same age you mentioned. Maybe a little older, but definitely no older than five.

Because of our work (lol, no were not streetwalkers), she and I spent years together - day after day - just the two of us.

If I'm remembering correctly this memory came up in one of our many conversations and it was something she hadn't thought of since childhood.

Her sister made her tell her mother, and it turned out to be another case of sweeping unsavory memories under the rug (Dinah, I'm not saying you or your mother/grandmother were "under the rug sweepers" - I'm referring to a mention of the "proverbial family rug" in a post I just made under Pax's thread).

My friend's mother simply forbade her to ever go near this man's garage again, and told her she must never tell anyone else what had happened . . .

Can you imagine??? I know her mother, and she was one of the best mothers you can imagine (and not just from my observations, but from my friend's viewpoint as well). But those were different times. Maybe people didn't make as many waves? Maybe she was in a sewing circle with guy's wife? I don't know. She doesn't either, but I know that she has wondered, as an adult, if it has affected her sexuality. And when you think about it, how could it not? She's never been all that thrilled about sex so it's certainly a possiblity.

On a slightly different note - I told my husband about my "comrade in vomit" last night and he thought it was so wonderful (how do I put that, this late at night, that it doesn't sound totally weird/surrealistic???) that there was someone I had finally connected with about that fear.

You are so open and it is such a gift to everyone else, so BR shouldn't even enter into it! Gosh, that one post of yours about vomit may have saved me some valuable time to discuss other issues in the therapist's chair. One babbler's remorse is another babbler's salvation.

As for me, I'm sure I'll feel like I have babbler's hangover when I wake up in the morning.

p.s. I have now written three different responses to your sexual aversion post and each one sounds flakier than the one before it so I'm going to have to decide. If only it had been a mechanical only problem because I have the short story on overcoming that one. I'm still grappling with whether or not I've ever had sexual aversion or if I just eventually despised my first two husbands so much that I fell hopelessly in love with my v*brator.




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