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Re: Good feelings fayeroe

Posted by leeran on April 24, 2003, at 13:19:22

In reply to Re: Good feelings, posted by fayeroe on April 24, 2003, at 12:08:43

Pat,

That's rotten. I just can't think of any other word (other than rotten) that isn't ban-worthy.

As a casual reader one thing is coming through loud and clear to me: she feels threatened by you for some reason.

Why else would someone stoop to such Machiavellian machinations?

Hmmmm, my first casual read brought me to the above conclusion, but my second read says this: if it's that obvious to me, a nimwit on a message board who doesn't know her from Adam, it's probably abundantly clear to everyone else (including your ex). She may be fully aware of how she is perceived and doesn't want you around to be compared against, least of all by your ex-husband!

I'll never forget the day when my first husband stood in the school parking lot and said "well, you could be a ***** at times, but you don't hold a candle to her when it comes to being a REAL *****." (LOL - I didn't even measure up in that department!). I reminded him that she was a lot younger and still had a lot of energy for his antics (plus, I had pre-nagged him for thirteen years). I do take satisfaction in knowing that she'll eventually need a forehead lift as well, due to his browbeating.

Sometimes, Pat, the first wife doesn't seem so bad after all . . . and the second wife knows it.

You're right, we have to take our satisfaction where we can get it!

Lee

p.s. When my ex and his new wife finished their house and my son visited for the first time (he was about six at the time) he walked through and put his hand on almost every piece of furniture and said "this used to be my mom's, and this used to be my mom's" and on and on. Of course, his dad used to be "mine" as well, but he depreciated as well. It's easy for me to reduce him to material terms because when I was readying myself to file for the divorce he plaintively said "but if we get divorced I won't have the house across from the golf course, the cars, the boat, etc."

I stood there for a moment, shocked by the fact that he had actually reduced it all to that. Then, I posed the question "well, if we lost everything in a fire, forgot to pay our insurance and just had to stand on a charred piece of ground and look at each other, then I guess you would feel like you had lost everything?" His answer (I'm not exaggerating): "Yeah, I can replace you many times over but I could never have all that "stuff" again."

His last big luxury purchase had been a boat (his M.O. was to be a real sweetheart right before he wanted to buy something expensive, and then, once he had "made the sale" he went back to his sullen self). That boat sunk the marriage within four months - AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY!!!???

All the material "stuff" he lobbied for in our marriage eventually went by the wayside, presumably to finance her interests. The boat, his 80 acre hunting playground, his TRUCK (which he wouldn't even let me SIT in because my perfume might rub off on his deer hunting clothes), etc.

When they bought a new truck to replace what had been his I asked him how he liked it, and he said "oh, that's basically hers, so she can pull her horse trailer around."

Ahhhhh, justice tastes particularly sweet this morning. Maybe because I'm taking the protein route.


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poster:leeran thread:221915
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030421/msgs/222009.html