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Re: Good feelings » whiterabbit

Posted by leeran on April 24, 2003, at 12:27:15

In reply to Re: Good feelings » leeran, posted by whiterabbit on April 24, 2003, at 10:30:31

"I feel exactly the same way, that things happen when and how they were meant to happen. I feel that strongly, at this point in my life. I've become somewhat spiritual..." - Gracie

Gracie -

I've been writing a post for two days in response to Dinah's "ummmmm" thread, and most of it is based on my "There are No Coincidences in Life" mentality. I think that's why it's taken me so long to formulate the post. The therapeutic part (for me) is belching out the words - but that makes ME feel better, not anyone else, so I'm trying to figure out a why to make it sound less mystical and more practical.

I, too, am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. After reading your post about your aunt and her passing I can't help but be reminded of two of the most comforting books I've ever read about the connection that loved ones have in our lives. I may have mentioned both of these here before but here they are again:

"Many Lives Many Masters"
"Only Love is Real"

An internet friend of mine lost her mother and experienced exactly what you have described in your post. I had once mentioned these books in passing on a message board we both frequented and I never thought anything else about it until she wrote me several months later, after we had lost touch, and said these books had changed her life. She also thinks that the reason we met was so I could mention these books in passing (LOL)*. Dr. Weiss would appreciate that, I'm sure - in a spiritual as well as a financial sense. Joking aside, I do believe that we pass in and out of one another’s lives for a greater reason. I thought about this with the seven hostages who insisted on making the trip back to the U.S. as a group. Seven individuals who never knew each other before become family members because of the commonality of their experience.

Gracie, it sounds like your aunt is one of your soul mates in your own soul's journey and that connection can be timeless. From reading your post (and based on what I've read by Brian Weiss), I feel certain that your aunt does have her hand on your shoulder right now.

Isn't it strange that divorce can be so traumatic, yet, for me, both divorces triggered growth spurts. Of course, I didn’t think of it as a growing experience when I was in the eye of the storm. I thought it was agony squared. Like playing chess with hot pokers.

Being a fearful person, divorce was a radical move. I was forced to pull back the sheet and look at the ugly stuff about myself not once, but twice. I couldn’t deny that there was a pattern and since I was the common denominator in both failures I had to look at the role I played in the demise of both marriages. I like that old saying "we learn by our failures, not by our successes." It somehow makes “I really ****ed up” a lot more palatable.

It sounds like this period in your life is bringing about a lot of introspection. That can be so scary, a big Betty Crocker cook-off with our worst demons.

When you wrote “a reason for the events in our life, even though we can't see the whole picture” I remembered a passage I read during one of the divorces and it really stuck with me. I found a similar version doing a search on Google:

Life is compared to a needlepoint. One side has a beautiful tapestry, while on the other side there are knotted strings of thread, some long, some short, most in disarray. What is in the disarray on one side becomes a beautiful picture on the other side. That represents the essence of life. What we observe here upon this world during our temporary stay is the disheveled side of the needlepoint. We hope for that glorious day when we will be able to see the beautiful picture of life holistically.


*NOTE: I've told other people about these two books (including my mother) or lent different people my copies and they couldn't get past the first few pages. I mention that because I don't want anyone to think that I'm "peddling" these books as the answer to world hunger or as the gospel according to this particular psychiatrist. Because I'm in sales I have a tendency to always try to "sell" what I believe in, so I'm trying to learn to tone that down. My paranoia is showing. Just give it a nod and it will go away.


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