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Re: Depression is black tina

Posted by noa on April 24, 2003, at 7:01:21

In reply to Re: Depression is black Dinah, posted by tina on April 22, 2003, at 10:21:29

>>I don't hold out much hope of ever getting much better. I mean, I feel better for a limited time and then I feel bad again. It always comes back

Tina, the difference is that your better times seem to me to be lasting a WHOLE LOT LONGER!!

My experience is that my better times started to last longer, and then my depressions started to get shorter, over time.

I know that when I got depressed again, I had the same feeling of it never going away, never getting better, etc. etc. But that thinking is, as you know, a symptom of the depression.

I still have anxiety about my depression--not knowing if/when it will return, etc. And it leaves me feeling not so confident in my reliability to myself and others--ie, if an episode hits, having some time at lower level of functioning, etc. But I do know that as I said, the better times last longer as time goes by and the depressions not quite as severe and definitely not as long.

Do you get depression about depression? I do--it is an extra layer added on that totally complicates it and makes it worse. It is the feeling of total disappointment in onesself for getting depressed. But it is important to try to turn off the judgment about that and try to learn to say, OK, this is another episode, it is not my fault.

Tina, I have seen you here for about 4 years now. And you have lately seemd to be in a completely different place than you were back then. Coping better. Longer times between episodes. So, it is not necessarily so that the depression is here to stay again. Perhaps it is just an episode, and won't last forever. And better mood will return, hopefully sooner than it would have a few years ago, and last longer, as indeed has been happening, it seems to me.

In the meantime, take good care of yourself. TLC for the duration of the episode.


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