Posted by Pfinstegg on April 23, 2003, at 21:28:27
In reply to Re: I'm fine » sienna, posted by Dinah on April 23, 2003, at 19:19:05
Even though you don't have any specific memories of trauma, you may have had intense fears that something wrong would happen which would have been traumatic. It sounds as if you may not have had any sense of safety when you were a child; This could be the equivalent of actually having been abused or traumatized. My father was an alcoholic, and although he never abused me sexually, I felt a continual sense of danger around him-something I'm working on now in therapy. I am finding how intense these fears still are, so many years later; I didn't know how much I was minimizing and denying them until now: because I wasn't actually abused, I kept telling myself that my anxiety was uncalled for. When you have a "meltdown", I wonder if you aren't re-experiencing an extremely fearful state that you originally experienced as a child. To me, how you describe your life seems to have PTSD written all over it .I, too have heard interesting things about EMDR; maybe you shouldn't reject the idea of it completely. My new therapist has favorable views of it as an adjunct. It's so good that you are bringing these topics to the board, Dinah. You are not not the only one by any means, but you often have the most courage in leading the way.