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Re: maybe i ruining myself (A Wellbutrin Story) sienna

Posted by leeran on April 22, 2003, at 18:18:32

In reply to maybe i ruining myself, posted by sienna on April 22, 2003, at 17:27:35

You aren't ruining yourself.

The garbage truck called depression* that parks itself squarely in our brains, uninvited, is the source of thoughts like that.

I was just reading through a few of your posts (I'm relatively new here) and I see that you're interested in Wellbutrin, so I thought I would relay my recent experience with said med (I love rhymes).

On March 24 I told my pdoc that I thought I was feeling depressed (well, who wasn't? The war had just started and I had broken a tooth with a silver filling that's probably giving me a new dose of mercury every time I chew on something ).

I originally went to this doctor (who I truly love) in January '03 for an A.D.D. diagnosis. I had been on Wellbutrin for about a year (I started last May after asking my general practitioner to prescribe it)

The pdoc recommended Lexapro (March 24), and I assumed (you know, the old "when you assume you make an ass out of 'u' and 'me') that Lexapro would REPLACE Wellbutrin.

I stopped Wellbutrin cold turkey that day (I might add that I'm one of those people that can go a year on an anti-depressant and think "I don't think this is doing that much" - when in reality, I've gotten so used to feeling better that I get this cocky idea that I can "go it alone").

Okay, so I stayed on Lexapro about five days (I was tired of feeling catatonic and unable to move my *ss out of my chair so I tapered off of it). Example: I knew I had a toothbrush - and teeth - but I didn't feel like I could even get the energy to bring them together - AND I'M ON 40 MG A DAY OF ADDERALL!).

Well, I think I sort of crashed and burned last Wednesday (I won't go into the sordid details). When my husband came home he called in my old Wellbutrin prescription before setting down his briefcase, and then made a point of picking it up before the pharmacy closed (HE was that desperate. Quite frankly, I didn't even give a rat's *ss).

Okay, so, today is "Day 6" back on Wellbutrin.

I went to the pdoc yesterday and he enlightened me to the fact that I was supposed to STAY on the Wellbutrin and add the Lexapro.


Now, I don't want to become the walking/talking poster child for Wellbutrin because I know every drug interacts with every person based on individual chemical make up. However, what I do know is this - Wellbutrin makes a "night and day" difference with me.

Wellbutrin apparently impacts the chemicals that affect motivation. I just looked up the two words "Wellbutrin" and "motivation" and I found this on another message board:

"(with Wellburin) the sense of hopelessness is gone, and in place of it motivation. I feel balanced."

This describes my feelings on Wellbutrin as well. After just six days.

You mentioned hallucinations. I'm sure your doctor must have valid concerns about that, or he/she wouldn't have mentioned it, but speaking from my own experience, I haven't had any hallucinations (not unless you count that big pink easter bunny driving a flying saucer past our house last night). Seriously, I haven't had that problem, at least not in the last year.

Actually, I think Wellbutrin brings back my sense of humor AND it helps me enjoy music again. When I am "dark" (like the theatre on Mondays) I have absolutely no desire to listen to music (which has always been a big part of my life from about age four).

Sienna, I hope you can find the combination of medications that works for you. It seems to be such a delicate balance for all of us. Ultimately, we're really at the mercy of the pdoc, who can tweak at the formula on our behalf.

*or whatever it is that makes the chemicals go awry




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