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Canadian Humour: shouldn't set any alarm bells off

Posted by IsoM on April 21, 2003, at 23:10:39

The Official Canadian Temperature / Activity Conversion Chart

Since Americans flatly refused to adopt the metric system back in the late 70's we have to translate these absolute terms to terms that can be easily understood by all.

50F (10C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably. Texans die of exposure.
Canadians plant gardens & start talking about summer vacations.

35F (1.6C)
Italian & French cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down & enjoy the fresh air.

32F (0C)
American water freezes.
Canadian water gets thicker causing Canadians to drink more beer.

0F (-17.9C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season & start to think about closing the windows.

-60F (-51C)
Mt St Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door & you had better buy some.

-100F (-73C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps & worry that they won't be able to hear the slap-shot.

-173F (-114C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg & worry that the winner won't be able to buy beer.

-233F (-147C)
The minimum surface temperature of the Moon.
Canadians start to think about lighting the furnace.

-460F (-273C)
Absolute zero - all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "Cold, eh?" & the Mounties think about putting a blanket on their horse.

-500F (-295C)
Hell freezes over.
The Calgary Flames win the Stanley Cup.


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poster:IsoM thread:221324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030421/msgs/221324.html