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Re: i messed up..again...JYL

Posted by whiterabbit on April 21, 2003, at 13:04:49

In reply to Re: i messed up..again... justyourlaugh, posted by Dreamerz on April 21, 2003, at 12:09:12

Girlfriend, I'm an artist too. I've never been organized enough to make a living at it, but I've done some pretty good stuff.

I quit painting for over 2 years because I just
couldn't work up the energy or imagination or focus to complete a canvas. In other words, I was severely depressed. I did amuse myself sometimes by painting little wooden boxes, crafty things that were easier to do than a whole painting, but even those took a very long time to finish because my concentration was so poor.

Eventually many of my bipolar symptoms faded to a tolerable degree with the anti-psychotic Seroquel, but to my dismay, I still had no real desire to be artsy. I thought it was gone for good. The urge to paint did not return until I had been on Paxil for some months, and I realized that it was depression and not Seroquel that was responsible for the creative block.

I'm into medieval times and all things British, so now I'm painting a big portrait of Queen Elizabeth I of England. She's not pretty, but Liz is turning out really well and I'm proud of her.

Have you read "Touched With Fire" by Kaye Redfield Jamison? I love this book, and I'm absolutely convinced that there IS a genetic link between creativity and manic depression. So, despite the shipwreck I've made of my life*, I'm in good company. Jamison lists quite a number of well-known artists, writers and composers who most likely suffered from major mood disorders...
Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Jackson Pollock, Edward Munch, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff and, of course, Edgar Allan Poe and Sylvia Plath,
just to name a very few. Tortured souls, all.

Are you taking medication? I never would have made it without medication.
-Gracie

*Someone I think Lee mentioned her "shipwreck of a marriage", I thought that was a great expression. Very accurate.


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