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Re: Dinah, another comment » Dinah

Posted by leeran on April 16, 2003, at 10:24:06

In reply to Re: Dinah, another comment » leeran, posted by Dinah on April 16, 2003, at 4:26:47

Dinah: "Sometimes I find myself looking down when I am reading your posts (especially in the sensitivity thread), checking to make sure I'm me, and didn't write it myself. :)"

Lee: Yes, I've had similar feelings. I "lurk" on the admin board now and then and I can always seem to identify with the emotions/feelings you are describing. Maybe we were wired in the same factory - eh? :)

Dinah: "It still does affect my life to a large degree. I avoid bars and amusement parks, and I pop tranquilizers before boarding a plane for a whole different reason than most."

Lee: I have always hated bars AND amusement parks! One irony is that we live in a little beach town that is well known for nightlife - especially during summer holidays. Last summer we walked down to the beach to watch the fireworks and the anxiety nearly killed me. I'm talking about crowds the size of which are hard to imagine. Our town prides itself on a "mini-triathalon" wherein the contestants go through all the events, and then immediately drink a six-pack of beer at the end and it becomes a veritable puke-fest. And it's covered in the local paper. In detail.

I'm curious if tranquilizers help when flying. I've become extremely phobic about flying - even though I used to fly from the Midwest to the West Coast (on the average) every other weekend.

Dinah: "Even so, the last time I flew my face was cherry red from tension by the time I got off. Spots are considered "contaminated" long years after, and I still detour around them."

Lee: Yes, I currently have the local Denny's on the "bad" list due to a unpleasant experience there about a month ago. And like you mentioned, I have radar. No one else even notices that someone is "on the edge" but boy, I sure do. Perhaps because I'm always observing people around me? But that's not quite the case because I don't always pay attention to people - but let someone lay their head down on a restaurant table and my antennae go into overdrive!

Dinah: "My therapist and I have come to see this as more of an OCD thing than a phobia. Therapy has really helped a lot with it, and I don't know if I could manage to be what I need to be with my son without therapy. But still, it's there to a greater or lesser extent and probably always will be."

Lee: I was going to ask you, last night, if you have children. I was thinking that I had read a post with you mentioning a son but wasn't sure so I didn't want to seem imposing. I have a son as well, and believe me, (I'm almost ashamed to admit this) this phobia (or whatever it is) is one of the reasons I didn't think I wanted to have children! There could be an entire board on this subject alone - lol!

My friend who has the same "phobia" (or whatever it is) has never had children and I've always wondered if that's part of it. Oh yeah, her therapist felt that her anxiety with it had a lot to do with control issues because vomiting can represent a total lack of control.

Dinah: "I hope I didn't stir you up too much talking about it. I have passed the stage where it bothers me to talk about it, thanks to therapy, but I do remember how it bothered me in the past."

Lee: No, not at all. I think it's such a relief to know that I'm not "the only one" that it feels rather therapeutic. It's spring, and I seem to be in a "mental spring cleaning" phase.

You know, one thing is this - when the dog gets sick it doesn't really bother me. Well, I get extremely anal if it happens on carpet and it's not an event I love, but I can certainly handle it, whereas my friend couldn't really watch the Osbornes again after she saw their English Bulldog "hurl" the one time she watched the show.

Oh yeah, one of the worst television shows for someone with this problem is, in my opinion, the Sopranos. I don't know if you've ever seen this show, but one episode in particular nearly did me in!

I got to the point during this Sopranos season that I just couldn't stand the anxiety of watching that show and it kind of became a joke with my husband and me.

Oh gosh. So much dirty laundry I've aired here . . . An online friend of mine asked me where I had "been" lately because just yesterday I sent her a copy of a post from here (I didn't put a name with it but labeled it "soul sister" in the subject line because it hit so close to home and I knew she would totally identify with the post). She immediately (of course) wanted to know what board I was frequenting and I just can't bring myself to tell her.

Thank you, Dinah, for sharing your thoughts on this. I would be curious to hear how you've handled this with having a child. As for me, I always have wondered how I would have handled it if I had siblings - or if I would have eventually been desensitized.


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