Posted by Kar on March 12, 2003, at 22:37:31
In reply to Thanks Dinah, posted by sienna on March 12, 2003, at 20:05:02
Sienna- Mair's so right. So much of what you're feeling (and what numbers of us have felt) is a function of your illness. I understand that feeling that you're being too hard on yourself- I've known it too but can't seem to change the way I feel. Sure when I'm not depressed I feel that way to some extent too, but I can also see much more of the good things. Helps you put it in perspective. I don't know if you've been going back and forth or are mostly stuck in a depression. But (and I'm not getting touchy-feely here) I've found that it's really good to write stuff down. Esp. when I'm good. Then I can read it when I'm way down in the pit and see how it was and will be again.
>have good friends and people love me even if I do think they are just being nice.
A very good friend of mine, upon hearing me say something similar, asked me, "When you feel good do you think that?"...my answer was no. It doesn't always help, but it helps give you a tad of reassurance.>I feel worthless because I am unproductive.
Ditto.>It takes so much energy to do the smallest things.
Ditto again.>get a B because i dont read the questions right.
Ouch! You are hard on yourself, girl! I know that telling you so doesn't help though. i know so well how horrid it feels to know that you can accomplish so much more...and have. It's like reaching for that carrot. All the time. And instead of living up to your potential, you're just working desperately to keep your head above water. So when you knock yourself for only getting a "B", i can understand it.> I guess i am not so different from many people
Wow- i wish I had such insight! And good for you to be able to even see that when you feel so crappy.>i am so alone in my head.
Kind of like you're hovering over your body, watching yourself go through the motions?i am on disability too. i haven't been able to work for 2 years. And it feels so shi**y. It's hard not to define ourselves by what we have accomplished (working, having a job, etc)instead of who we are...what we've done for others...
>depressed nonsense speaking mess?
It took me a long time to get through college and grad school. Hell, and high school too. It can be done. And once you're on the right track, it will be. if that's what you want.Take care and keep us posted. We care about you here...
karen
poster:Kar
thread:208139
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030308/msgs/208600.html