Posted by Ginjoint on January 17, 2003, at 14:53:23
In reply to Re: What's it mean to you to feel close to someone?, posted by ROO on January 17, 2003, at 14:08:11
> I think I've become really full of shame
> because I've fallen into such a depression. I project my own self judgement over this onto others and
> expect that they will judge me as harshly as I do myself or something. Lots of shame.Ain't it the truth?! This is something I haven't seen discussed, and maybe needs its own thread. I am currently on Social Security disability payments due to my mental illness, something I never dreamt in my worst nightmare would happen. Being on the government dole! Talk about shame. I know the shame's not logical, and that this is only a temporary situation, but it's still there and keeping me from becoming more involved in the outside world. Roo, I've "lost" several people also -- both because of my own shame, or they were ashamed OF me. After that, I got real gun-shy about reinvesting in new people "just until the depression is gone." But then I'm sad because I am so alone. The term "vicious cycle" doesn't do this justice, as I bet you know.
I liked what you wrote about being comfortable in each other's silence. That is a very safe feeling, hm?
Ginjoint
poster:Ginjoint
thread:35372
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35400.html